skool annouced tat we can bring cell phones.
but why aint i excited?
coz it onli works on term 2?
crap.
nar, my hart izznt in this.
coz now it seems lyke being legal or illegal doesnt matter.
enjoys breakin da rule.
being the rebel.

im gonna meet fall out boy.
im gonna meet pete wentz.
oh my. oh my.
hes so gonna be everi ghurl's harthrob.

today's chinese was pretty okay.
science was pretty relaxin, though i knew i gotten sth wrong.
maths... torturous.
the fats inside da hashbrown n chicken wing i ate before tat were boilin inside my body.
er... i noe it sounds gross.
i gave up hope after i had no idea how to do ques 1.
i took on a relaxin mood after tat.
great im sure gonna flunk this thang.

today's assembly talkin bout I&E.
n when they mentioned bout da student learning festival (SLF)...
7th july 2006.
it jus triggers old memories.
pleasant... n yes unpleasant right after.
noticed. unnoticed. hurt. unhurt.
i still rmb tat day vividly.
n directly da week after.
14th july 2006.
i guess everi one has moved on...
so do i have to.
no more lingerin bout da past.
its jus history.
yesterday had steamboat for dinner at home.
da soup actually turned orange coz da color pigment in da crabstick came out.
yeah, its kinda disgustin.
couz came late so we ate first.
mum prepared a lot a lot a lot of food.
plannin to fatten all of us up.
sigh, im surely goin on a damn diet this tyme.
less fried n sugarly food, more exercise.
that mornin i walked A LOT.
so i was satisfied.
if i can keep this up.
couz came at round 8.
after we finished eatin.
another of my couz came n she was lyke, " euu see im darker!"
n i said," hah, im still darker."
we had yu sheng after tat still.
n wine.
first sip was pretty okay but i cant seem to stand da alcoholic ani longer.

oya i bought Infinity On High.
their style changed quite sume bit.
softer but more matured i shall sae.
got a few songs lyke lullaby.
not much sarcasticism i noticed.
got one pic inside of pete which is totally hott...
hes wearin hipster!

couz stayed over.
she called herself "child labourer" forr sume reason.
she climbed out of bed at 3 in da afternoon i think?
today.
i was in a pretty foul mood coz i cant seem to concentrate on studyin.
my mind tend to drift off.
recently quite obsessed wif this quizilla story called, Being Kidnapped By Vampires Was Always A Fantasy Of Mine [It Wasn't Supposed To Happen].
mayb jolene will be interested coz there is her fav vampire?
n plenty hott dudes to fantasize.

i wanted to sing Jesse McCartney's "The Best Day Of My Life" BACKWARDS.
coz this afternoon is SOOO not my day.
went out to west plaza to breathe sume fresh air but alas, it rained when i reached dere so i cant come back.
sumemore im wearin white tee.
so went cryin to my mum for umbrella.
lol. but i reeli did went to find her.
but when i got da umbrella, IT STOPPED RAININ.
the ground is wet n im wearin slippers.
dangerous izznt it?
i was so embarrassed holdin da old fashioned umbrella which luks lyke its gonna fall apart soon.
argh.

practically when crazy when i cant seem to absorb one bit of infor of revision.
had to do constant pacin to clear my mind.
but wadever, its over.

the awkward silence. unavoidable.
yesterday ms van played "Romeo and Juliet" modern version after skool.
its was reeli damn nice.
seriously romantic n sweet.
sth tat will never happen in this fast paced technology these days.
romeo (leonardo di carpo) is cute cute cute.
mayb coz hes young?
juliet is real gorgeous.
mature yet young.
their kisses are comin a bit too fast i admit.

today actually supposed to have chinese test but tchr never come.
instead we have chinese compo.
everi one detest it.
da tchr is being cranky.
i wrote badly coz not much tyme left.
sarah's compo is indeed "interestin".

met couz, rachel, to go TM.
TO BUY FALL OUT BOY'S CONCERT TICKET!!!
omg, i cant believe im gonna meet pete wentz at last.
in cyper, saw a lot of insults towards hymm but nvm.
its not as if hes my bf or sth.
aha.
ate laksa n plenty of dots appeared on my shirt.
rachel is constantly "stoned" as she says.
Hinder got this song called "Get stoned" rite?
went to East Coast Park.
took 31.
we walked all da wae to da park from da bus stop.
euu cant even see a speck of sea when i alighted.
pass an underground, highway.
da sea breeze is so coolin.
took off our shoes.
we planned to walk to da other "stone" but deres a long kang (drainage)
it doesnt luk deep on one side.
but da other is.
my whole feet almost sinked inside.
so we walked a roundabout.
i was talkin to da wave, "Splash her! Splash her!" >>> Rachel.
but eventually da wave decided to splash us both.
our belongings are all black n white, i noticed.
my bottle rolled onto da ground.
ewww.
tot wiped da top denn can drink from da cap oredi.
but when i peered into da bottle, i saw particles floatin in da water.

i dunno waz goin on in mii.
i get reeli short templed these days.
annoyed n irritated at everi small lil thang.
snappin at everi available human being.
i noe wadd i did.
euu think i lyke it?
but i oso dunno waz happenin to mii.
i feel tat different ppl are treatin mii differently after CNY break.
im confused.
waz goin on?!?




FIRST DAY

CNY. CNY. CNY.
this yr is kinda borin at first.
I dunno why i was excited at da tot of wearin new clothes.
I was wishin so much tat my ear hole at da top dunn give mii trouble by closin.
but eventually it didnt.
is my left ear hole rather.
got a lot of blood.
red. red is gd forr CNY.
I broke my promise to myself to not say vulgar today.
I was almost da same height as my father after wearin heels.
da first few hses we went have no visitors.
sb said coz is da yr of pig denn everi one still asleep.
so it was real borin.
didnt harass estalla this tyme, rather its blossom.
found a new victim. lol.
everi yr is da same routine of goin da same few hses in da same order.
go my couz’ hse to eat lunch.
I witness my couz brush her teeth.
nice sight.
she has gained a new laptop, acoustic n electric guitars.
I pose wif her electric guitar!
she played a few rhythms.
she lend mii a few mags which has da most bloody hell hottest bands n guys on earth.
pete wentz! I love euu!
I realize I veri long never buy new overseas mag.
mayb coz im practically broke these days?
Rachel wore da same pants she wore on CNY last yr.
told her sume stuffs.
blah blah blah.
its quite early when we finished all da visitings.
so mii n Rachel went out.

decided to watch Epic movie.
it was kinda creepy to see all da shops closed.
lyke da apocalypse of planet Earth.
especially da sight at da old cinema.
if got camera I comfirm take da pic.
so memorable.
TM is scary to see as da first, second, third storey were almost empty.
at da fourth storey, it was kinda crowded.
n da time shown is too late so we went to CS to check out.
same as TM, deserted at da first few stories.
but at da fifth storey, yes, its crowded.
saw jolyn n her sis.
they gonna watch da Jack Neo’s movie.
da tyme here sold finish le.
went to buy newspaper to check out da tyme of other cinemas.
made a few calls n got a booking at Bugis, 18.10pm.
Rachel can be so engrossed in music tat she closed her eyes.
so im not tat worse in da addiction of English dark music, okay.
though I cant live without it either.
Bugis has onli 3 cinemas rm I realize.
bought cheesy hotdogs n couz treated da choco muffin n drink.
shes so gd!
but she broke until have to open hongbao n take da money.
quite sad rite?
Epic I cant say its absolutely nice but I have to admit its hilarious
N SICK!
it should be rated NC16 but denn I cant go in watch lyke tat.
it’s a mixture of
- Chronicles of Nania
- Da Vinci Code
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Snakes on the plane
- X-men
- Nacho Libre
- Pirates of the Carribean
- Harry Potter
- Superman
- Click…

a lot of hott babes.
dunn wanna be spoiler le.

SECOND DAY

went to a few relative’s hse.
one of them was using one hand to touch my cheek, with another touchin my arm.
but cannot reject her lah.
my mother wear until so old fashion still wanna wear my heels.
so unsuitable.
night, went to eat at another relative’s hse.
sian.
I not close to them.
so eventually I was eatin alone at da corridor.
sad hoh?
all da adults gambling.
mahjong, black jack.
my father oso join in.

THIRD DAY

actually supposed to go out wif jasper n blossom n watched movie.
but denn I oso dunn wanna be gooseberry.
so never go out, but asked them over to my hse.
went to rent DOA aka Dead Or Alive to kill tyme.
da movie plot is normal but da ghurls are OMG.
their figures n luks kill.
denn da two of them came over but dunno wadd to do.
I shall not mention da thangs they did coz ya noe ya noe.
they earn each a hongbao from my father.
gd loh.
went to white sands.
blossom was “transmittin kisses”
blah blah blah. I cant rmb much.

actually da first n second day of CNY I wanna go back to skool coz I kept havin this funny, strange feelin.
denn da last day I dunn wanna go back coz…
I havent done ani hw.
we went back to old 2R6 classroom to deco.
i dunno how come when i saw da newspaper pig, i was delighted lyke a lil ghurl.
but craig kept it out of my reach.
his stupid bunch of hair brush against my face.

sat wif blossom in da hall coz got sth need to talk to her bout.
when mr ang was named as da CNY idol, i practically puke.
omg, he?
he still take da soccer ball as if he can kick lyke tat.
he toot head lah.
ms van got a lot of fans, she still veri stylo loh, wear da sunglasses n criticize until veri will die one.
mr ng veri happy he beside her.
but both guys oso no chance one lah. especially mr ang.
i told haziq beforehand tat dance is gonna be hott.
da first part is okay, jus tat tammy wore v shaped low cut denn ya noe ya noe.
da malays are sure hott lyke i last seen.
heard a lot of woos.
da guys are definately droolin.
while ppl lyke ka lun will close their eyes n give tat kinda face.
da guys' eyes are definately goin towards da ya noe ya noe parts.
sigh.. MOST guys are lyke tat.
in class, sume guys are still talkin bout it.
i still dunno whether to go to practice or back to mps.
went to blossom's hse first.
denn after tat decided to go back mps.

i was stupid to take 17 denn change back to 3 when its da same thang if i jus take 3.
met jolene, geraldine n jun yong.
da boiiz from my class not many came back.
other classes hung out in their gangs.
back to da old days.
finally saw qi rui after soooooooooo long.
but he seems veri quiet n reminds mii of da situ bi in da 7 o' clock show last tyme.
even luk quite alike, especially da eyes.
i asked adriel if qi rui break voice oredi coz sume boiiz jus break voice they dunn dare to talk.
i went up to hymm n told hymm, "talk."
he was lyke, "huh?"
tats enuff, should be got break lah.
i doin experiment huh?
i stuck to jolene til she left forr malaysia.
she so sexy lah, her pink bra strap so obvious since she wearin outside clothes.
so is geraldine, sumemore wear heels.
da Corals hung out together.
nikki's gang veri ah beng, lyke always.
got three guys have lip piercings, but i onli recognised vincent.
others i think is they brought in one.
nikki's ghurlfriend is actually my junior.
i saw them fondling wif each other at da bball court last tyme.
she quite chio lah, denn slowly i recognised her coz she talk to da sec 1s.
they lyke to touch each other huh?
mdm lim sae i slim down.
hah.
a lot of those chio n shuai tchrs all go back le.
no more mr david chee, mr christopher shau, ms irene lim. =(
mr tay gave mii, jolene n amanda his email, sae wanna keep in contact.
aiya another toot tchr.
in da hall, went to see da performance.
da lil kids sang "mei jie da jie xiao xiang..." in da english version.
guess hows it lyke?
"in the streets of singapore..."
???
bloody fuck, internet overlimited $40 n mii n sis have to each pay $20.
its not i keep usin one!
is tat person kept playin tat damn maple!
n now i have to pay up coz of her!
im oredi veri angry at this n now i cant poke through my ear hole!
n it kept bleedin.

today when my father drove mii to skool, we saw this guy wif half of his head spiky hair n da other half shoulder length.
cool.
denn we started talkin bout orchard, vivo all these.
oya yesterday when my father gave my mum da rose, he kissed my mum on da cheek.
reminds mii of blossom n jasper.
n da choco muffin is eaten.

durin PE, min lin suddenly have a lot of strength.

english lesson, we watched Merchant Of Venice.
n mr ng was right.
its porn.
half nude woman.
n most of da class saw da flash of da boobs.
i cant believe it when it flashed past.
i tot my eye got prob.
denn after tat watch Romeo And Juliet (modern version)
veri 21st century america.

maths lesson my brain was almost burstin.
i cant seem to absorb those maths equation.
i even had headache.
is my brain capacity so small?

mt lesson, headache still continuin.
went to da toilet to clear my mind.
tot my dae was so worst.

still got enrichment sumemore.
after skool, had lunch wif jolyn quietly.
denn went tmart to buy bubble tea n i accompanied her home since i dunn wanna return to skool so early.
dunno waz wrong wif jolyn's hand tat she let go of her bubble tea n it smashed onto da ground.
she was so sad denn.
back to skool, actually i was late.
hah, i guess da others knew im always a late comer.

got this make up course n got an ang moh over dere.
i kept lukin at his different features while he lectured on.
he has reeli sharp nose.
his skin is considered pale, n quite hairy. lol.
his eyes is a shade of blue but not bright one.
his hair is blonde. blondie.
shafiqah volunteered to be tested forr da make up.
yes, da foundation is reeli weird, reddish brown.
half of her face is painted eventually.
got an asian assistant whose hair is dyed blonde n talked wif an american accent.
another blondie.
i think i had da same foundation as shafiqah coz i luk reddish brown too, lyke i came back sun tan n sun burnt at da same tyme.
but it kinda covered my impurities.
da others had pale face rather.
drawin on da eyebrow was okay.
i sucks at drawin eyeshadow.
my proportion is all wrong.
when it comes to eyeliner, im considered a pro!
but this tyme is used small brush but its da same.
satisfied wif my skill.
first lipstick color i used is too bright pink.
denn i changed to a lighter pink, better.
everi one takin pics.
da malays luk great mann.
didnt bring make up remover so no choice have to go home wif this face.
everi one was starin at us.
omg...
rush hr sume more... so many ppl.
but no money take taxi.
veri torturin to bend my head all da wae on da ride back.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! to all ppl hu are loved.
unlike mii.
aha.
ppl lyke us should be miserable n see ppl gettin mushy.
i didnt think bout miserable until jolyn mentioned bout it.

wake up early today coz father's car broke down.
da car disagree wif v. day.
was real tired coz yesterday stayed up late to rush da revision of home econs.
plannin to sleep on da bus.
but haziq dere.
so i jus closed my eyes.

when i reached skool, da sky is dark.
wadd a suitable lightin to sleep.
gave out sume honeysticks.
mii n kym is da first tyme celebratin v.day.
surprise?
a lot of ppl gave out sweets n choco.
but is da ghurls.
guys dunn have da hart to do so unless they lyke sb.

i uncovered a lot bout kym da tymes i spent wif her.
i caught her talkin to herself, talkin dunno wadd da hell stuffs.
da thangs euu sae when euu are bored.
tats cute.
our cookies we made are 50% wholemeal flour, 50% plain flour.
seriously i dunn lyke mrs lai leh.
everi dae catch my ear rings.
denn got tat kinda face lyke sb offended her, especially mii.
denn she said sth tat i didnt catch.
she sounds lyke shes givin up hope on mii ever takin out da ear rings.
tat sounds so depressin.
our cookies are pretty okay.
er... quite crunchy?

durin recess, quite a no. of boiiz are takin roses n givin to ghurls.
tats so sweet.

I FOUND OUT STUFFS TAT SERIOUSLY SHOCK MII TODAY:
1) ms jamie tan told mii i should smile. i didnt noe she noticed mii so much. tat im quite emo.
i didnt noe she cares. unlike...

2) dickson is taller than mii?!? or same height?!? omg, im feelin so fucked up. when i first met da guys last yr, they are shorter than mii. now... yes, im a dwarf to them. i guess its da generation of guys. guys rule. yeah, right.

chinese lesson, ms tan started talkin bout period. jasper so curious huh...

english lesson, mr ng wrote this forr example, "i hate volleyball but i lyke to luk at da ghurls."
i told hymm to change to ogle or leer.
hassan said touch.
mr ng oso said he hate valentine's day coz he broke up wif his ex. true?
we wrote messages on each others' hands. a ghurl "thang" ya noe ya noe.
mr ng started sayin im being les.
i will show hymm i am better than tat.
i gave jolyn da toy rose right in front of hymm, purposely.
denn after tat i gave estalla da ring.
he says im not straight.
so i decided to give hymm v. day prezzie too since got spare.
HE FREAKED OUT, MANN!
HE RAN AWAY FROM MII.
N CONCLUDED TAT IM BI.

blossom is so lucky!
her bf gave her da three roses n i helped them announced to da whole class.
n kary sounds lyke da weddin person hu brought them together.
we chanted, "KISS! KISS!"
n jasper gave blossom kisses twice on da cheek.

after skool, my gang went white sands.
on da bus, joyce did sth.
(btw she oso received prezzie from ya-noe-hu, but da rose oredi wither lah)
at cavana, sth happened but i didnt see but i noe wadd happen.
went to da beach. AGAIN!
its kinda emo to go to beach on v. day wif friend rather than ur bf/gf.
showed them da route i used to take to pasir ris park.
I AM A PERSON HU WALKS A LOT. N THINKS A LOT.
left mii n jolyn once again in da end.
at da beach she did sth.
we screamed to da beach.
i seem to enjoy doin tat.
i can screamed veri high pitch even though my normal voice can be quite low forr a female.
we sang. jolyn is still crazy of tat fall out boy.
i seriously think we are lyke lonely souls on such a wonderful day.

denn went back home.
asked my dad if hes givin ani thang to his wife.
hes givin a rose, pink one!
denn i told hymm bout da $4 rose sold in skool.
denn he sae why never tell hymm denn he can buy cheaper one.

i still have to end off wif this.
i abhor ppl hu used mii.
i realise a lot of ppl have bad impression of mii, sb hu has no feelings.
hi im jolene lim from chung cheng high(main).
tats yesterday nite.
bluff da relief tuition tchr.
i prefer this tchr denn da normal tuition tchr.
tat one so strict.
cannot speak chinese, use phone, stay late.
im still not used to being under strict rules.
so its not onli skool.

I LOVE JOLENE LIM YING YI!
shes so sweet.
she gave mii my first valentine's prezzie this yr.
as in give rather than choose first.
choco muffin.
to rebecca too.

today, our classroom change to 1st storey coz muhammad injured his leg.
denn he have to use clutches.
his leg reeli wrapped until lyke green apple lyke tat.
denn craig n sume other boiiz go plae wif it.
after tat mr ng told them its a myth tat euu plae wif it denn da same thang will happen to euu too.
freak craig out mann.
lol.
immediately i missed old 2R6 classroom.
i cant believe i got 20/30 forr my compo.
my content is not bad but my language sux lyke hell.
all simple english.
maths test i did real badly.
reeli disappointed wif myself.

today dance was quite tiring.
n i heard tat yesterday's soccer match against 2r4, we won 4 to 2.
friday still got practice!
arh.
i still decidin whether to go back to MPS or go practice.

these days, i wasnt hartbroken or sad.
quite sume tyme i last shed tears.
im more to da angry side.
angry, annoyed, hurt.
i found myself grittin my teeth often.
i dunn think euu have ani idea im talkin bout euu but nvm.
i dunn wann to dig a deeper hole to sink in.
i jus wanna get this off my chest.
we contradicted too much.
mayb euu mean mii gd but euu stepped on da wrong stone.
i noe euu can never sacrifise ani thang forr mii.
im not tat important to euu.
even if i die, euu will jus sae, "oh, dunn care lah."
euu still dunn understand mii.
(mayb tats jus euu)

COUNTDOWN 5 DAYS (TATS WADD COUZ SAE) TO SEEING MY BELOVED COUSIN!
cant wait!
but before tat i have to face IPW tmr.
pray to God i will be alright.
gonna wake up early coz goin to NUS to rehearse dance for SYF.
it feels funny to go to skool on a sunday.
finally i could put all my ear rings n color rubberbands on my head.
feel so free.
so da bus, sume of us either talk or listen mp3.
da malays are wearin jeans n eyeliner.
no surprise.
da place is gorgeous.
got tat elegant aura.
i regret not bringin jacket, its sure cold inside.
see dance tchr wearin jeans n let down hair is sure funny.
da backstage luks similar to da one i went last tyme. anglo chinese?
i feel so important when we have to wear tags to go in.
n ppl openin da door forr us.
da stage is not as big as i tot its gonna be.
got camera to film da stage.
change a bit of steps here n dere.
i think wadd maundrey(eh sth lyke tat) have to do forr da endin is quite seductive.
leanin against da railing.
2 hrs gone in a snap.
have photo taking.
saw this ghurl from nanyang has da same bag as mii.
boo.
snatch sume cookies from wei ling.
her whole packet kena us eat finish.
tchr was discussin where to held dance practice after da hall building is demolished.
mayb pasir ris cc.
dunno whether to be happy or not coz too near to home oso not tat gd.
hopefully we can get a silver this yr. hopefully.

ripped from dickson's friendster.
i realised i am as tall as dickson.
n when euu luk closely, actually im shorter.
wadd da hell..
n haziq is TOWERIN OVER us.
omg.
hes a giant.
seriously dying from boredom now.
oh my, oh my.
was out wif jol.
supposed to wif blossom n pearlyn.
but i oso wanna go see hows bishan's lib luk lyke.
bus ride seems long.
swear i was burnin inside out.
da lib was gorgeous wif neon colors.
oh my, oh my.
shared spaghetti n carrot cake.
jol WHINED to mii bout tat rose from minitoons.
sigh. being a gd person, i agreed to buy forr her.
but yes, deres no such thangs as free lunch.
shes gotta buy mii back.
so we went to bugis.
miss da station n i said fuck aloud.
oh my, oh my.
actually wanna see da perfume station n buy sth from dere
but 1ml forr $2???
GREAT.
FEEL FREE TO ROB DA BANK.
at Diva, oh my, my fav. shop.
i was droolin.
okay this tyme i was pleadin jol to buy mii sth from dere.
da chains are gorgeous, da ear rings are omg.
but she says its out of her budget.
so no choice, left da shop empty-handed.

lyfe is borin. i wanna have sume volka in my lyfe.
i dunno why i was feelin so fustrated n angry after dance tchr left in a puff.
im not angry at her.
but all da emotions tat i have been keepin inside mii are threatenin to explode.
i could smash ani thang.
i could break sb's arm. (i think)
seriously.
i kept bitin my bottle.
sumetymes i tot i was a carnivore, n i will developed sharp fangs n bite into ani thang.
wadd a fantasy.

i reeli reeli dunn feel important to euu.
i dunn feel it ani more!
am i jus shit to euu?
i feel tat i have jus opened my eyes wide n saw wadd have euu been doin all along.
seriously i think we clashed a lot.
i feel tat euu dunn give a damn care bout mii at all!
euu take mii forr granted!
its jus my wishful one-sided thinkin tat everi thang has gone back to normal.
i reeli dunno wadd to do bout us.

n i seriously hate ppl when deyy they think females are all stereotyped.
weak, fragile, cute.. do euu have ani more adjectives?
it doesnt mean if a female is stronger, taller or clever than a male, they are not female.
waz wrong wif these ppl's heads?
why cant they open their eyes bigger n luk at the real world to see waz it made of?!?

today get da o level result.
cousin got 16 points.
jolyn's sis got 11.
n she cried.
so jolyn cried.
quite touchin da scene.
denn got quite a few ppl have difficulty comin into da skool coz dyed hair n piercing.
but i saw one ah beng wif brown highlights n lip piercing being allowed into da skool.
why arh.
but last yr i oredi saw hymm struttin around da skool wif da piercing uncaught.
but denn DM busy catchin ppl.
last dae still wanna do this.
seeing all da ex seniors, make mii miss da lyfe last yr where groomin wasnt strict n scary.
today got yrbk 2006.
my pic sux mann.
my face is SHINY. but not in a gd wae.
durin PE, jol was singin "this aint a scene, its an arm race"
denn i join in n when we sang til da word "scene", min lin said sth similar too.
had lunch wif justin, dickson n jolyn.
GUESS WADD?!?
da background music was da one we sang to on fri!
n i assure we sing better than da singer.
mii, jol n dickson were tryin to hold back our laughter or else we would been spittin our food at each other.
mii n jol went to pierce at Yellow. ONCE AGAIN!
i cant believe its my seventh one.
n jol's fifth one.
she now not guai le.
but dunn blame mii hoh!

relationships are complicated lyke cobwebs. why must it lyke this?
on monday after skool, estalla, dickson, justin n mii hung out.
ate lunch at downtown east.
denn justin kept complainin food veri ex. yeah wadever. denn dunn eat.
i was da first to start eatin n da last to finish.
damn justin asked mii to hurry up n both hymm n dickson purposely stare at mii eat my last spoonful.
told myself not to luk at them but eventually still laughed n spit my laksa out.
so pai seh.
we ate finish everi thang before we pay.
walked to white sands n shop.
denn went back to downtown east to meet sume guys at da beach.
muhd n hassan went out, left haziq n yu hin.
its jus kinda lonely. too empty.
estalla took 354 n obviously haziq n yu hin went off wif her.
when their bus passed by mine, stupid haziq pointed middle finger out at mii.
tot he so cool, arh? lol.
haziq lied to mii bout sth but yeah, why should i take it to hart?

today, before IPW, i told estalla," today, we wont let IPW affect our moods."
i said it fast n low, so at first estalla couldnt catch it.
i asked myself, why should i be lyke this?
but at tymes, i still need to chill n calm down.
we are stuck, tats da fact.
admit it.
lunch, mii n estalla went to 7 eleven bought cup noodles n chips. (unhealthy, izznt it?)
saw our chairman, jing yuan.
hes alone.
my mee goreng noodle is supposed to put da sauce after da noodle is heated n dried but i forgot.
ruined da effect.
haziq stuck to us.
mii n estalla eat at da stone walls of da HDB flats n he have to care.
haha so eventually we ate at da void deck.
haziq kept eatin estalla's chips. hah.
now is haziq's turn to luk at us eat, which felt funny.
back to skool forr dance, we are still yeah, horrible.
feel so wadd wif da table tennis ppl lukin at us.
veri damn uneasy.
sume of us had a talk bout "my fav. topic".

sigh, my feelin n lyfe currently is neutral.
neither am i happy, nor am i sad.
but im still real confused.
seriously stuck in da whirl of "emotion outbreak of 2R6'07"
i see ppl round mii hurt, sumetymes i seriously dunno wadd to do to help.
im jus too... fucked up.
too confused.
i cant make a decision forr them.
but i cant stand round doin nuthin.
lyfe cannot go on lyke this.
sb must make da change.
so here comes... superman/woman.
but hu da hell is he/she???
to sb: i SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY dunno wadd to sae to euu two.
if ani thang happens, i still think its part of my fault.

if i dunn go out today, i seriously will go bonkers.
so i was at blossom's hse to watch movie.
Kate And Lepico. (i think)
storyline actually quite interestin but turns out to be
B-O-R-I-N-G.
so off we go to tm.
at The Body Shop, check out da Rougeberry: eau de toilette.
da smell is not veri nice.
sume other flavors are nice but its not worth it to buy 30ml of it forr $20++
blossom bought her prezzie.
at isetan, tested a few perfumes by Adidas.
got 3 veri nice.
oso got other brands worth considering.
now im readin my past posts, from April 2006 all da wae to da present.
i wanna noe how much i have changed.
i realize my second post oredi got da word fuck.
my third past started emo.
may was damn freakin emo.
coz of sth. sth.
i was quite lame n sound so bitchy in da early posts.
i actually feel embarrassed when i read it.
GOD. I DIDNT EXPECT I WAS LYKE THIS BEFORE.
to tell da truth, i regretted a lot of things.
ive hurt ppl, n ppl have hurt mii back.
i forced myself to read wadd i had written before.
i can onli luk down n sae im sry.
I DIDNT NOE!
everi tyme ur name appears, i reeli dunno wadd to sae.
n i realise craig has been talkin bout da difference between a ghurl's sittin posture n guys' since last yr.
n i have been caught laughin to myself several tymes.
my mood was real awful a few tymes.
december was my favorite tyme.
i was enjoyin myself a lot. a lot.
january was reeli unpleasant.
i wanna tear off da pages. but i cant bring myself to do so.

yesterday nite, i found a bit of stain of blood on my leg.
i didnt noe where it came from.
while i brushin my teeth, i saw dark ruby red blood on my arm.
i freaked out, obviously.
its da second tyme i bleed without feelin ani thang!
denn today in class brush against sth denn da wound bleed again.

today's OLE need to perform.
so pai seh.
da elderly came before we have da tyme to rehearse.
got lunch provided forr us, even lo hei.
(im feelin tired now but im still gonna finish this)
denn we sat at da flag raisin platform n watched a lil kid twirlin n fell into his dunno whose arms.
denn after they go, craig go imitate hymm.
craig, euu are even bigger size denn mii so plez.
da soccer boiiz are still veri horny.
have to left at 1.20 actually but skool release early so i rushed to meet my mum.

veri worried my curve worse.
took my height n weight.
i shrink 1 cm!
omg.
took x ray.
totally dunn lyke da clothes we need to wear.
its jus a piece of cloth coverin our body.
da length is even longer than skool skirt full length.
n da collar dere veri big.
scared slipped off my shoulder.
denn got this guy sittin at da waitin area lukin at mii wearin this awful thang.
nvm, euu are oso gonna wear this if euu are gonna take x ray too.
at da doctor (i always dunn lyke dere), my curve indeed is worse.
but im not growin ani more.
dunno whether to be happy or not.
so i onli need to wear another 6 months n i graduated!
though i will never have a straight spinal back.

my mum wanna walked at chinatown.
im still happy bout da kinda gd news.
at OG, saw this bathing suit tats totally gorgeous, even my mum says so.
its actually a one piece suit.
at first glance, euu may tot its two piece.
blue n pink, veri damn nice n unique.
da pink pather top veri nice too, got da bling bling thang.
denn deres this female walked past.
she stops everi one in their track.
lets name her ms gothic babe no. 1.
shes caucasian, dark brown, wearin a knee length super gothic boots. i swear its ten inch high! wif "horns" stickin out of da boots. black n white mini skirt. a black n white top n a black n white mini backpack. think its by emily strange.
denn she met up wif ms gothic babe no. 2.
her friend wear not tat exaggeratin.
at least no ten inch high boots wif scary things pokin out.
but her theme is oso black n white gothic theme.
i sat on da mrt floor on da wae home.
damn tired.

ps. sheng han must be veri damn grateful to mii tat i sabo kym to join hymm.
he can feel free to worship mii!
i knew hes veri happy.
hes super hyper, i saw.
ani body wif a brain will noe waz goin on.
but kym not tat grateful to mii lah.
sad sad.
why are euu back into my lyfe again?
why are euu back into my lyfe n turn it upside down?!?
euu caused mii hurt yet i trusted euu again.
why!?!
i noe im happy tat euu are back, but i feel its all wrong.
thangs have changed a lot since denn.
i dunn wanna recall bout it.
i should stop.
got OLE today.
wasnt exactly a pleasant dae.
a lot of things happen.
both gd n bad.
was stuck craig, haziq n hassan.
deyy are all sick.
after skool, out wif estalla n jasper.
all of us werent feelin tat great.
problems, problems, problems.
but estalla is still complainin hungry.
so joyce-lyke.
before meetin blossom, met sume soccer boiiz.
deyy are so fucked up.
things are complicatin after tat.
real complicatin.
but eventually we all patched up wif each other.
n estalla n i witness sth sth.
met up wif dickson n went to da beach to find haziq n craig.
we kinda played soccer on da sands.
it was kinda peaceful since no much ppl dere.
but dere are sume nice shows goin on lyke, sb wif sb n sume gay scenes.
took turn n scream wif blossom n estalla.
i could scream forever.
sume of us drew on da sands while sume of us were kickin sands rather.
sume guys went inside da ghurl's lavatory to "visit".
haha.
i dunno izzit a gd idea to go to da beach in da first place.

i noe steps could not be erase behind us.
tyme could not rewind. (mr ng, i used it correctly rite?)
but i reeli hope all these didnt happen at all.
it was our mistake.
n it hurt euu a lot. a lot.
i dunno hows it gonna be tmr.
it wont be same, i noe.
i dunn wann this to happen too.
i reeli dunno wadd to do.
why is this happenin?!?