yesterday, my mum did sth tat make mii wanna laugh n cry AT MYSELF at da same tyme.

went to skool on 8am today as per normal, jus tat its not dance.
its NASlympic.
celebration before da whole canteen aka hall aka music room kena pull down.
the one n only, first n last.

tried yoga.
free lesson wadd.
quite fun, when all 3 of us, joyce n blossom squeeze into one gym mat.
my dear joyce seems pretty stressed out coz of the last few days.
i miss her HYPER-ness.
DM played bball!
but he cant seem to catch it.
mr ng suddenly appear in front of mii.
he wearin brown shirt n faded jeans.
he doesnt have to emphasize his tan wif tat top.
when he played bball wif da other NAS, he seemed to be camouflaged.
jus lyke ani boy next door.
joyce used my phone to call ms zahra when we cant find her since joyce needa tell her she need to go.
ms zahra tot she callin forr help since ms zhara gave us her no. after all those incidents tat happened these days.
eventually sume of us R6 ghurls settled down n chatted wif ms zahara.
MS ZAHRA TRIED ON MY HEADBAND.
i tot she wanna lecture mii coz i wearin purple headband.
but actually she jus wanna try if can secure her hair.

after joyce went to tuition, Junnie, Jolyn, Estalla, Min Lin n mii went to TM.
sume of da soccer boiiz went to watch Mr Bean's Holiday.
im anti-Mr Bean.
Junnie n Min Lin lukin forr black shoes n long sleeved white top forr da upcomin student investiture.
OUR FUTURE STUDENT COUNSELLORS!
we stole sume sweets from da counter of Mango in Isetan.
deres a FOX sale.
da baby clothes are SOOOOOOOOOO cute!
da skirts are lyke so cheerful color, even got red undies inside.
i wish i was a lil ghurl again.
had roti prata forr lunch.
after tat met joyce n us two n jolyn went to gym.

BURN OFF FATS, are mii and joyce's motto.
mine is more lyke tonin da body but i dunn mind losin a bit of fats.
jolyn scared she exercise too much til she disappear.
too skinny to be seen.
we had to buy towels forr cleanin off sweat.
inside da gym is lyke OH MY GOD.
damn big n spacious.
i feel so embarrassed lah, comin here first tyme n no idea how to operate everi thang.
we even had to ask da person how to lock da locker.
we tried runnin first.
i veri scared if i never concentrate, i fell off da track.
i ran bout 1.6km in 15++ minutes.
i dunn believe it.
joyce scare mii when she kept increasin her speed til 8.
but i feel veri shiok when runnin.
legs gettin tense up but breathing still okay.
when i stopped da machine, i couldnt walk properly.
legs are jelly.
mayb too arupt stop.
i feel so dumb when i was readin da board on how to use da equipments.
after 2 hrs, i feel satisfied wif myself.

but back home, i indulged on junks.
SO MUCH FORR TODAY'S HARD WORK!
good charlotte's songs got a lot "oh oh oh oh".
but da songs are still nice.
but i have to admit this album are reeli black n white.
da chronicles n lyfe n death is darker.
the young n hopeless is lyke so punk, so teenager feelin.
but i feel veri comfortable listenin to them.
download a lot of acoustic version of songs lyke, the red jumpsuit apparatus's face down, breaking benjamin's diary of jane, fall out boy's sugar we're going down.
most of them quite nice.
5 star rated.

yesterday do da music thang, veri fun.
we were foolin round n strange things kept happenin to my hse.
doorbell rings but nobody, phone rings but nobody on the other line.
dunno izzit prank or not.
but its kinda scary in sume wae.
but i feel so relaxed n happy tat we were all jus a bunch of ghurls foolin round, wif no probs on mind at tat moment i think.

when we present today, my fingers turn cold. again.
tat kinda nervousness.
but we did pretty okay.

nuthin major happen to mii these days.
im a mother fucker.
i jus feel so fucked up.
i feel tat i did da world wrong.
n da world doesnt please mii either.
currently i dunno whether im angry at everi thing or jus basically myself.
everi thing's not right.
I WANN A CHANGE!
IM TIRED OF THIS FUCKED UP EVERI THING.
I WANN ALL THESE TO ENDDDDDDDDDDDD...

found this new GC song called Broken Hearts Parade.
pretty nice.
went to deviant art n saw this category of pics tat make mii feel so sry of myself.
my hart is cryin.
this is gonna be a short short post again.
these days tyme's are jus rushin.
projects are shootin.
tmr presentin IPW.
damn shithead, dunn wanna noe how it goes.
hopefully its gonna turn out alright n ppl dunn ask silly ques.
music STORM, dunn mention.
its jus plain empty.
lit, thank god justin postponed ours.
coz i havent create da script yet.
oya chinese skit.
supposed to be tmr but we havent even create da script yet.
wadd da hell.

im tryin to learn to take things easily.
a stressed up person will die faster.
i still got a lot a lot of goals to accomplish.
PETE WENTZ!!!
n blossom posted pete wentz's photos on her blog.
she agreed wif mii hes cute n hott.
jolyn onli agrees hes hott.
fine.
last few days kept knockin on blossom's hse door.
tat dae saturday, after dance, went up to her hse.
didnt noe she still asleep.
so pai seh.
too bad i didnt see her in her pj!
deres a show doin on Good Charlotte on mtv.
i started to lyke Billy Martin, i think oso bassist of GC.
told ya bassist are hott.
he is damn tall wif purple hair!
he called joel, "joe-y!!!"
after tat got Fall Out Boy's Sugar We're Going Down mtv.
patrick wasnt tat fat last tyme.
i rmb i first spotted hymm n called hymm da weird weird guy.
tat was in p6.
after tat got This Aint A Scene, Its An Arms Race.
practically shoutin n screamin in da hse.
her bro left oredi so i can be w-i-l-d!

i am still veri fed up wif Ashlee Simpson coz she was wif Pete Wentz.
now dunno still together or not.
I AM JEALOUS!
she sat on pete wentz's lap!!!
GAWK, B****!
sumemore i still put her poster right in front of mii.

jus now tuition, tchr bought a lot a lot of chocolate cookies from Marks And Spencer.
i had my full.
i noe joyce is jeolous.
hahaha, food. food. food.
jolene breaking voice.
today reeli become a gentleman.
opened da door forr us.
i was thinkin of quitin tution n jolene was lyke, "Euu quit, I quit."
Euu die, i die.
IM BAAAAAACK. FINALLY. (comp kena virus)

this is gonna be a short post coz rushin forr tyme.
tyme's tight these days.
almost stranglin mii.
but im still alive n kickin.
past few days been miserable without comp.
thank god theres music blastin in da stereo still.
these days addicted to listenin to music in da dark without lights.
tats why my ipw webbie is http://inthemidst-of-darkness.blogspot.com
dunn visit yet coz its empty.
started to sleep in class these days.
REAL TIRED. TOO STRESSED OUT. REAL FUCKED UP.
I JUS WANNA SLEEP FORR A LONG LONG TYME.
like sleepin beauty.
but in real world, im so not.

hired a new maths tutor - LEE MIN LIN!!! *claps*

once more you tell those lies to mii
why cant euu jus be straight up wif honesty?
when euu say those things in my ear
why do euu always tell mii wadd euu wanna hear?

- All These Things I Hate (revolve around me)
Bullet For My Valentine
im so damn freakin fustrated.
so euu may have realised im pretty snappin now.
my comp is prone to virus.
jus now pop up one warnin wadd got virus denn dunno wadd shit.
denn comp is lagged lyke hell.
decide to reformat da comp myself.
hopefully i can do it. =P
later stuck halfway denn die.

monday we had literature meetin wif blossom, jasper, dickson and justin.
my cold still not okay.
cannot laugh too hard.
i think our skit is gonna be pretty interestin, earnin sume laughter.
after tat we went to plae bball wif min lin.
i must earn back my skills!
min lin n i bought our regular, SUPER BIG GULP!
got ants on min lin's bag where we put all of our belongings.
sth happen after tat.
went to take neos wif blossom n min lin!
justin waited outside n said we took practically half an hr.
true not?
coz da timin at da deco part is unlimited.
i love da neos!

tuesday back to skool for dance.
sume ppl sae i longer hair nicer, sume sae now.
i noe long hair is nice, but IM TIRED OF IT!
i cant perm, rebond or dye it so wadd more can i do?
snip, snip, snip.
ani wae my lower potion of da hair is kinda damaged.
but!
i will still grow my hair longer.
so wait n see.

today early mornin went to joyce's hse to do music project.
in da end, we didnt do much, jus foolin round.
we made joyce cook rice forr us!
veri bad lah. but she can show us her cookery skills!
different home econs rm so cant see.
JOYCE IS A SEX MANIAC.
she tried to "rape" mii.
haha no lah, shes goin round pinchin ppl's thigh n butt.
okay but not first dae noe her.

afternoon went to see ka lun n shang ce forr ipw.
estalla loh, got excuse coz guzheng.
but nvm, deres blossom!
thanks so much!
after tat, estalla, jolyn, amy, min lin n junnie came.
it was rainin before tat so we dunno still wanna plae bball not.
but eventually we did.
min lin, estalla, craig n mii played at da CC first.
craig challenged mii forr ABC.
at first i won hymm.
denn i stuck.
but denn overtake hymm again.
but eventually i lost when at da part under da net.
must sae "I DUNN LYKE CRAIG" denn he cannot shoot in.
works most of da tyme.
took pics of craig coz he got each of our er.. not-so-nice photos.
bought SUPER BIG GULP again!
denn went back to ngee ann.
alexius could go inside in outside clothes.
actually not onli hymm.
met up wif everi one, includin da soccer boiiz.
played bball.
da other court was real bball practice so its a bit...
i feel great havin to exercise so much today.
but back home facin this comp, my mood went seriously down to zero.
yesterday, went to see da track trial at da tampines stadium.
to select forr da runnin forr sports day.
before tat have lunch wif blossom n pearlyn at Subway, Downtown East.
blossom's mum drove us dere.
blossom eat until her face oso kena.
after tat we went to White Sands.
luk luk, walk walk.
denn go tamp.

passed by my mum but i didnt notice.
eventually i still didnt participate in da trial.
watched them.
notice sth or mayb notice before, when jasper run, he will stick out his chest.
funny sight.
see da others run so fast, thank god never join n make a fool of myself.
left wif blossom.
cousin's wedding later.

da hotel is lyke OMG.
damn nice, damn elegant.
i think is called marina mandarin hotel.
da thingy hangin from da top is so abstract form.
mii n cassandra even found an artist studio.
cool.
n deres a so called bar downstairs.
jazz, blues singer wif violin n piano.

though this place is mega big but da weddin place is small.
deress sth special bout da weddin ceremony, da waiters n waitresses will dance, holdin da first plate before serving.
n at da "yum seng" part, one of my couz shouted veri loud.
everi one lukin at hymm.
back home, sis occupied da toilet forr 20 mins.
slept durin da waitin.
so slept at 12.

today home econs was talkin bout budget.
i noe i noe, it jus reminds mii of my damn pathetic situation currently.
argh....
when i returned da ice cream sticks by shootin it to da front, haziq n sheng han started kinda reprimandin mii.
i was lyke, wadd da hell, why are euu all blamin mii forr this?

almost immediately i slept on da bus 39 when goin back home.
n when i woke up, guess wadd do i see out of da window.
forests. yes.
im still kinda dreamily thinkin, on da highway, on da highway.
denn one of my nerve snap n woke mii up entirely.
NO! 39 IS NOT SUPPOSED TO PASS HERE!
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
i missed my stop. *narrows eye*
coz i take to sengkang often, usin da TPE wif forests before i reached dere.
i didnt noe TPE so long.
i think i drooled ya noe....
alight at da next bus stop where i dunn see ani HDB flats or ani thang friendly luking.
WHERE DA HELL AM I?!? (no no not takin da quote from Simple Life)
this is wadd i see - church, spore armed force (i tot is prison) n... forests.
but this place seems familar.
recalled last tyme debbie oso took 39 too long until reached yishun.
sumemore hers at nite, rite?
over 39 back.
so now ive experienced wadd a normal teenager has gone through.
take da wrong side of bus (27), slept n miss my stop (39).
but i still arrived back home safely.

went to rebecca's hse to watch da hana dunno wadd da hell show since yesterday i missed.
she gave mii prezzie!
i next tyme denn give her hers.
pete. pete. pete. why are euu so cute?
gd mixture of ur parents' genes i guess.
i wanna kiss da fuck out of pete wentz.

durin IPW, ms zahra asked mii wadd bands i lyke.
estalla replied forr mii.
yes euu noe wadd happen.
on my fav topic, i will ramble on non stop.
i will get "high", givin my own self estasy.

common test result:
english: 46/60.
maths: i failed.
science: 39/50.
chinese: 54/70.
geog: erm cant rmb.
lit: failed.

not comfirm da results yet.
Pics on 3rd March, ripped.

pete wentz, bassist of Fall Out Boy

patrick stamp, lead singer of Fall Out Boy

finally officially FOURTEEN.
<<<< my details updated!

over da period of turnin from 13 to 14, ive gone through a lot.
tymes when i was real HIGH. (psss! 3rd march!)
tymes when i was thinkin suicide.

i hereby thank everi one hu had been dere forr mii, to support mii when i fell, bring happiness when i was down, lend a shoulder to cry on...

lyfe has been tough.
real tough.
everi moment fightin against all da obstacles present in this lyfe of mine.
strugglin to keep my head above da water level.

today has been a kinda long LONG dream.
i seems to be floatin rather.
n this feeling izznt gd.
i feel... unsettled. uncomfortable.
even though da prob is kinda solved, but why do i still feel this way?
my brain seems to be fallin out of my head,
my stomach seems to oppose everi thang i eat.

i feel tat im frownin everi minute, but when i asked Estalla, she sae dunn have.
when i was back home, i checked da mirror.
ay, my eyebrows have slight movement.
wadd am i still thinkin of?
wadd am i still worried bout?

am i still dreamin of Fall Out Boy, tat other aspects of my lyfe even such a special day izznt important ani more?
am i feelin lost tat i have nuthin to luk forward to?
am i feelin regret bout sth?
or am i jus plainly having mood swing?

on da bus back home, i kept thinkin bout this.
n now denn i realize i probably havent come out of da Fall Out Boy, partyin daze to face reality.
reality... arh..

today da onli thang i felt truly happy n excited bout is... ay... FALL OUT BOY.
tat damn band n my bloody pete wentz.
durin VL lesson, i was still thinkin bout da concert...
n ani body notice? i was grinnin to myself.
I AM ADDICTED.
i cant get enuff of them.
i want more!
i was doodlin on my "Crap" bk, drawin n writin all sorts of thangs related to them.

i tot everi one forgotten bout this day.
reeli thank da first person hu wished mii Happy Birthday today at 2++ am though i onli saw it at 7++ am.
at least i noe i may not be singin "Sad Birthday" to myself.
whole family overslept this mornin so i didnt eat breakfast at home.
bought a cup of coffee from McDonald tat practically blessed my shakin body.
but my legs are still quite wobbly when walkin to skool.
i forgotten i cant drink coffee without eatin sth.
i onli rmb tat durin recess but by denn ive lost my appetite.

hmmm havent thank those ppl hu wished mii today.
n da prezzies they gave.
THANK EUU PPL OUT DERE, EUU NOE HU EUU ARE!
da pink billabong slippers are real nice.
tyme to change mine.
credits to: estalla, jolyn, joyce, dickson, jasper n justin.
Blossom!!! thank euu forr everi thang!!!
craig, if euu think euu are gonna make mii fat wif da chocolates, DREAM ON!
but still, thanks.

i tried smilin today but i felt lyke a weak patient hu could not bring her face muscles to stretch.
so let mii return all da smiles in written form.
=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

science test result was pretty well.
literature wasnt tat well written. i failed. but to no surprise.
english was okay. mr ng go scare mii.

lunch, kinda forced myself to eat sth.
eventually i spent quite a lot.
im back to likin red.
bought a choket wif a red hart along wif jolyn n estalla, red nail polish.

today i did a lot of daydreamin.
im still quite high now.
high. high. high lyke in ecstasy.
but I never take drugs. haha.

I SAW PETE WENTZ!!!!

HES ONLI 3 FEET AWAY FROM MII!

3 FUCKIN FEET ONLI!!!

OMG. HES STILL SOOOO HOTT.

I CANT BELIEVE I FINALLY SEE HYMM.

HIS SKIN IS SOOO WHITE (think is da lighting)

HIS LIPS ARE SOOOOOO LUXURIOUS (?)…

SO FULL OF HIS BLOOD (duh. obviously. euu are such a psycho.)

HIS HAIR IS SOOOO STYLE. (so pete wentz.)

HIS ABS N TATTOO… *faint* (he wore hipster n raised up his hands.)

HIS BARE CHEST…. *hart attack* (he took off his shirt at da end of da concert n threw into da audience. not fair I didn’t get it.)

hes still wearin his famous hood jacket.
he smiled a lot throughout da concert, wonder izzit onli to put up a show.
he threw things at us n despos lyke mii obviously wanna get it.
he touched before!
I found a guitar pick on da floor, probably nobody catch it.
i screamed all my mind forr hymm so currently have a sore throat.
but its worth it.

HE LICKED HIS BASS GUITAR’S STRINGS FROM DA BOTTOM TO DA TOP!

I screamed for Patrick too.
throughout da concert, pete was doin most of da talking rather.
Patrick is still cute n chubby.

rewind back.

met my couz first.
saw a lot of ang mohs dere.
got this bunch of fans hu lined up since mornin.
Rachel met her friends so we queued up together.
told ya deres disadvantage of being short.
either I cant breath or my head will be smashed into sb else’s shoulder, guy or ghurl.
its veri veri cramped.
a lot a lot of physical contact.
ppl fightin to be first.
deres this bunch of ang mohs beside us hu are damn irritatin.
especially da guy, though hes reeli cute.
but got da play boii luk n super talkative.

THINGS I LEARN.

1) get used to vulgaries.

ppl were lyke screamin fuck here n dere.

2) get used to either euu offend ppl or they offend euu

euu push here n dere, ppl not happy, they give euu da luk or indirectly insult euu. euu jus have to rebuke back.

3) DUNN WEAR SKIRT!

in all da pushin n stuffs, my skirt changed position. arh.

4) get used to body contact or erm.. body odor.

thank god I didn’t smell ani body odor, onli sweat n water vapor.
pity da policemen n security guards, kena us pushed oso, so they must be strong.
when we finally gotten inside Max Pavillion (same place as da church concert), we saw da stage.
not veri big, wif a fall out boy wallpaper behind.
saw da malay sec 4 SC, his name starts wif R.
da “Valentine’s Day” ambassador.
durin da waitin, my couz was talking bout… soccer.

da concert was started off wif this random band…
ppl oredi started pushin, n when euu one person fell, we all get affected.
legs must got strength to maintain balance.
constantly have to tip toed to see da stage.
so its no surprise if sb put their arms on ur shoulder.
got this guy, his one arm put on one ghurl’s shoulder, another put on mine.
wadd da fuck.
I put my hands on ppl’s back, both gender.
saw 2 ang moh ladies da boobs so big.
sume ghurls cannot take it so they have to be taken out by da security guard at da front.
I think sume ppl fake it one.
they were smiling when they were being lifted out.
probably thinking, “Im being lifted up by a guy!”
my hair often kena stuck coz when I lifted up my head n wanna come down, da person behind mii has oredi stuck his/her body against my hair.
dunno how many strands of my hair were snapped.
ouch.

after this band, it was Saw Loser.
Fall Out Boy wont come so early one.
confirm at least one hr late.
da bassist of Saw Loser was pretty cute.
I think hes da one wif lip piercing denn when he moved his mouth, da piercin seems to be movin too.
BASSIST ROCKS!
I realized most frontman of Spore bands have platinum blond hair.
lyke Ronin.

we waited lyke til 9.40pm before Fall Out boy came out.
everi one was chantin, “FALL OUT BOY! FALL OUT BOY!”
got this ghurl beside mii was lyke, “Wadd is Fall Out Boy fuckin doin!?!”
when they finally finally came out, everi one was lyke screamin their heads off.
mii too =)
they started off wif “Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued”.
I cant stop starin at pete.
takin in all da infor.
they oso sang songs lyke,
“A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me”
“Grand Theft Autumn (Where Is Your Boy)”
“I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me”
n of course, “Sugar We're Going Down”

no less, songs from Infinity on High.
reeli got rachel’s fav song, “Golden”.
no offence but tat song veri slow n “Christian”.
sry, jus not my taste.
rite after is… guess wadd???

“This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race”!
& my one of my fav, “Thriller”!
n oso "The Take Over, The Breaks Over"

those songs I knew, I was shoutin da lyrics.
n shakin myself n forget bout everi thing.
its reeli reeli fun.
at sume tyme, got this guy as tall as zhi kang standin in front of mii.
die lah, must squeeze in front of hymm.
da concert was ended off wif (cant rmb waz da song).
I onli rmb… “Dance, Dance”!
by denn everi one was jumpin up n down.

got ANOTHER bunch of ang mohs were tryin to piggyback each other or carried somebody up through da audience.
waz tat called, surf…. sth.

sume water was being given out, either in cups or bottles.
by da tyme it came to mii, da cup was empty. *shot da person a luk*
veri thirsty. cravin forr coke or sprite… *smiles dreamily*
by da tyme da concert ends, it was 11 plus.
we went to get sume drinks.
Vanessa, rachel’s friend, reminds mii of Kimberly Ang.
social butterfly.

took 12 back n passed by ngee ann.
I was on this road er… 13 hrs ago when I left skool after dance practice.
Rachel followed mii back to my bus stop.
cant stop thinking bout pete n fall out boy through da whole nite.
today I woke n da first thing I tot of is fall out boy again!
recently i saw this name "Brendon Urie" on da net.
i was lyke, eh? so familar, must be another hott dude.
today at Popular, i saw one of da mag featurin hymm n pete wentz.
i still didnt recognize hymm.
i was lyke, yeah, quite cute.
jus now went to search on hymm n i found out....
i was so stupid.

COZ HE IS DA LEAD SINGER OF PANIC! AT THE DISCO!!! (the left one)
n i immediately went head over toes forr hymm again.
lets forget bout pete wentz forr now.
brendon is so so so so so so cute!!!!
he sure knows how to act.
he knows how to sing.
n he plays a whole lot of instruments... unlike da useless mii.
he wears glasses out of stage but hes still meant to be drooled.

n deres ryan ross!!
sounds familar?

bassist of panic at the disco. (right one!)
bassists are cute, i realized *nudge* >>> pete wentz
he is da damn cute guy behind da band.
jolyn oso sae he cute.
heard he can sing better than brandon.
wanna hear it.
how i wish they are comin to spore too... *weeps*

n rmb da "fat ass", jolyn?
he kena kicked out of da band n now was replaced by this guy hu is pretty okay.

but still! cannot forget pete coz he is da producer(?) of panic at the disco.
without hymm, ghurls' harts will feel veri empty. =)

*brandon in jacket reeli reminds mii of pete

IGNORE DA BOII CRAZY MII! FORR ONCE!