Maybe im the one who keeps stabbing my own heart.
No one trys to stop mii.
It has become an addiction.
Like eating disorder.
Just that i dont have that.

Actually life is ironic.
Like, you wanna laugh and cry at the same time, with malice in your eyes.

Sometimes you have to wait for sth to happen to realize sth.
Its like wearing a new pair of specs, but everyone is knocking you down, thus you still cant see anything.

I want to fast forward time, to when i look back to this again, i will laugh.
Laugh at how dumb i am.
Laugh at the things i regret.
Laugh at how i handle things.
Laugh at every single thing.
Til all my breath runs out.

Yesterday in lit, the 7 deadly sins were mentioned.
Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.
I wrote that down when im in p6.
Its still pasted on my wall.
I thought vanity was one of them.
Well, i wont deny i broke every single of them.
Just that in different degrees.
Im not the only one.
All humans are prone to mistakes.
They will somehow or other commit one of the sins.
Thats why the 7 holy virtues are invented.
People are trying to go for purity these days.
To redeem their sins.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."
Im not gonna be a christian anytime soon.
So no worries.

I shall not mention what happen.
Too many ppl know.
I dont want to add oil into the fire anymore.
I just hope everything's gonna be all right soon.
Let the webs unentangle.
Face it with a neutral attitude.

I will not blame anyone.
What do i have to gain?
Peace to all, is the best to all.

I shall have to prove, to everyone, and to myself that i can do it.
I lack perservance, determination, the striving energy to push myself forward.
I am weak.
Even my mum knows.
Actually i dont know how much she knows bout my life outside home.
And you know what i regretted now?
I regretted making my mum cry when i was a pre-teen.
A rebelious-in-the-mind, fucked-up pre-teen.
But its the past.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Cherish what i have now.
(Dont know is it under the influence of that damn chicken soup book)

Cheers everyone, the sun is gonna come out one day.
Or else i will go find it.