To Ms Zahra.
Love you!
Thanks for everything you done for us =)

First turn.
Second turn.
Trying to be tall, dickson?
What's 17+29+9+21+38+22+11?



Hawaiian and pepperoni cheese.
Zena and I.

Meridian's toilet.
Alt colors for each door.
!!!!

Told ya its fanciful.
Cant believe im that small last time.

Thursday

Watched Rush hour 3.
Got quite a number of dirty scenes.
I prefer watching Jackie Chan in old movies rather.
Like Shanghai Noon, Shanghai Knight, Around The World In 80 Days.
Love seeing 18th century guys.
Neat and clean and shaven.

School at 3.
Student Learning Festival and launching of sth.
The booths were quite boring at first 'cause they were mostly bout Mathematics.
But eventually me and Joyce went around exploring the booths and tried the games.
Like chinese calligraphy?
Java writing?
And the lauching of water rocket.
Joyce and I lauched the thing together.
Got partially wet and i fell on my ass.
Exchanged for a balloon.
Meridian put up a booth too.
Recognized the tchr, Ms Hainon.
But shes doesnt know me.
Saw sb damn familar too.
Mr Eric Lim!
Dickson accidentally let go of it and Joyce practically killed him.
We got our class jerseys!
Mega big.
Those left went to buy snacks and drinks for tchr's day.

Friday

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!
Ms Zahra wore our class jersey!
Miffy Z :X
The games planned (not of any of the students' will) were booooooooring.
Everyone were anticipating the food, especially pizza.
When the pizza lit was up, everyone snatched away the slices.
We were FAMISHED!
And blah blah.
Had dance straight after for video.

A lot ppl not going back to old school.
Leonard was back at MPS when i smsed him.
Wonder how tall is he now?
180?
Weight?
....
No offence.
Met Zena at 2 to go back.
With Michelle and Pearl.
Didnt see much ppl or tchrs.
Zena kept looking for Mr Chee.
Cheezy guy.
The school is damn fanciful lah.
Compared to Ngee Ann, its like ***** star hotel.
The light in the toilet is the kinda found in ikea.
Got bug shaped, touch shaped.
Er and we peeked into the boys' toilet too.
Equally fanciful.
Geraldine Chng once again slimmed down A LOT.
Whats her slimming method again?

Zena, Michelle and I went peninsula plaza to check out skinny jeans.
Red, blue, green, yellow, grey, brown, purple.
You named it.
Spectum?
Not much emo boys there.
School?
LOL
Cant imagine.
Man i wanna buy new clothes!
But.
I tried on super skinny jeans and i think i looked like a clown.
The lady who served us was damn funny.
Every sentence she said will have the word "babe".
"Coming right up, babe!"
"Babe, hold on!"
"Come with me, babe!"
She sounded like Mdm Nora but her sense of humour was like Mdm Noorani.
Zena bought black, Mich bought turquoise.

Did God protected me yesterday?

Good thoughts.
Evil thoughts.
Im still human.
All running through my head too fast.
Hard to catch.
Lookin around.
Lost.
"I'm Getting Over You" by The Click Five

I found your picture in my wallet
Still got your sweater in my closet
I'll bring 'em by
Maybe tonight

And people asking how I'm doing?
But every question still has you in
I say I'm fine
And I never think about you
But you're always on my mind

[Chorus:]
I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you most of the time
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true
I'm getting over you

I've been playing all the songs you hated
I called the girl I almost dated
She's not the one
But I'm having fun
And I'm better off without you
And I think it's what I want

[Chorus]

Even if it takes forever
I'll get my shit together
I've been doing be so much better

I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you,
whoa

I'm getting over you most of the time
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true

[Chorus]

I'm getting over you


"The Reason Why" By The Click Five

Yesterday
I waited for your friends to walk away
So I could say just what I mean

I know we're moving fast
We're running from the past
I'm holding on before it fades away

Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
And Baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

Standing still
I'm waiting round to see if this is real
Cause I feel like I'm asleep
I'll open up my eyes
Cause you might be the type
Of girl that makes me dream when I'm awake

Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

So tell me can this really work
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love or myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

That's the reason why when you're young you fall in love
That's the reason why when you're young you fall in love

Actually only wanted to post one song's lyrics but both are real touching.
Love love songs...
I was crazy half of the time today.
Not only today, if anyone noticed.

I got my hands on Click Five's Modern Minds And Pastimes.
Most of their songs are pretty slow.
But some nice ones.

Dance today was the last lesson with Ms Lee.
So me and Lisa (actually is Nisah) went to look for the prezzie.
Cupcake from Famous Amos and 2 big lollipops.
Some people cried when she left.
I was in the wrong state of mind.
I was laughing at Aisah's thank-you speech.
But i enjoyed the dance today.
Another catwalk session.

Still deciding whether to go back to MPS.

Self control.
More than 100%.
I need more.
More.
More...
You must be thinking, has jiayi gone crazy?
Her style in this blogskin and song are just soooooooooo.... soft.
So unlike that emo dark her.

Sad state of affairs

I dont know how to describe today.
One moment like this, another moment like that.
Very happy, very er....

Haziq is curious who that "monster" of mine is.
Well, if i think of the "monster" with sharp teeths, pointy ears poking out of the hair, and shouting," ROAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!", i seriously will laugh my head off.
What a hilarious sight!
And today i was singing this to him,"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK..."
Cause we were talking how common it is to say this word from both our mouths and not from others like.... Kym?

Oh and some of the guys were saying my dance very emo.
Well the next dance isnt.
I have to force myself to give a mega watts smile.
*tink!*
Okay, not so exaggerating.
We were doing catwalk today.
Again.
Shake, shake, shake.
And touch, touch, touch.
Aiya my own body lah!
Man, i dont like smiling with teeth.
I dont like my teeth.
Tomorrow me and Lisa are gonna look for tchr's day cum farewell gift for Ms Lee.

Oh and i deleted my tagboard.


"Wu Gui Nu" 's relative. Forgot to show Haziq.


Sheer Pretense

Dickson was damn funny in Chinese lesson.
Jasper made him a "bra" to wear.
Halter.
Sarah made "cup" for the bra.
But its pretty small.
Craig found Gatsby moving rubber gel, another kinda gel and Adidas Boys deodorant in Sarah's bag.
He sprayed the deodorant all over me man.
He sprayed his pants and said he has a "fresh cock".
Craig is getting sicker day by day.
Dont blame me man, i didnt influence him.
Took my lit test in the teacher's small rm in science lab.
Okay lah.

Heard my cousins are all having rough times now.
Life's hard these days.

I have to make a choice on what to do.
But i dont know is it correct.
Should i do this?
Did i make things worse?
Is it acceptable to you?
I guess not.
I dont know what you want.
I try to get out of your way.
To not cause any conflicts.
But i guess i got another misunderstanding.
Yesterday mum asked me to cut her hair.
But i was rash, and snipped off too much.
She screamed at me after that.
So no way can i be a hairdresser.

Today was nothing much.
Bus was freezing cold.
Though was wearing jacket, the cold still got me.
Blah blah blah.
In chinese lesson, the movie was pretty nice.
It was pretty similar to another chinese movie called Confessions Of Pain, Shang Cheng.
The school finally had new comps =)
Flat screen.
Though we wont be using much i guess.
*shrugs*
Let the pictures do the talking.
Samples of options for class jersey.

Personally i prefer this. ^^^^



No words…
Silence?
No…
Not that silent
The beat of a bleeding heart is too loud
And the whispers of regret so soft,
Yet the wishful call is loudest,
And the answer so shortly unheard.
Acceptance?
Another form of illusion?
Honesty?
Another white lie.
Truth?
Demanded,
but never given.
You push
Softly
I fall
Slowly.

By *Nadda

The power of love.
Is unpredictable.
Even at the gates of heaven, the power of love will revive you back.
Even at the coldest weather, the power of love will make you feel warm and fuzzy.
Even at the most difficult of times, the power of love will give you the determination to get through.
Even when no one's around, the power of love shows you, you are not alone.

Everything that comes out of my mouth sounds wrong.
Every action i do, looks wrong.
And is wrong.
I cant clean up the mess i created.
Once again.
How matter how much i scrubbed, it wont go away.
The stain will still be there.
I wish time could rewind back.
Far far back.
Maybe back when im not born.
Maybe it is better for my non-existence.
It is a mistake just to be here.

Point 1: The class still thinks i cut myself.
Point 2: Debbie is a warm fuzzy teddy bear.
First time in my record history in this school.
Didn’t go school.
RIGHT.
BIG DEAL.

Puked 7 times last night.
Only word that appeared in my mind.
“Peristalsis”
Ring a bell?
That muscle in your oesophagus & stomach?

It was weird you know.
I instantly stopped my puking when my mum reached home from work.
But when she went out for a while, that puking starts again.
Theres just sth.
A line between us that held my life.
Sounds exaggerating huh?
No kid.

You know my jaw muscle haven’t really recovered?
Yeah I pulled my tongue yesterday.
Cause yeah.
How do you puke without sticking out the full length of your tongue?
Yeah im short-tongued now.
Whatever.

A few days ago, I watched “America Got Talent”.
Theres this old guy, pretty much 60 years old, who wanted to perform stripping.
“The world’s oldest stripper,” he said.
But yeah they rang the bell before he unzipped his pants.
Sth happened too at that time.
It was raining heavily and I wanted to take that towel away from the window.
Its at the balcony where theres only the grills, no window.
And a lightening flashed right in front of me.
All I saw was, white.
Like… heaven?
I pretty much turned into a 5-year-old girl who covered her ears, closed her eyes and screamed.
But its really very scary.
I had a dream this yr bout getting struck by a lightening.

Do you ever ask yourself this ques?
Why do you go to school?
What makes you wanna go to school?
I know its not just a plain, for studies.
Do you go to school because of sb?
That sb who strived you to go to school each day, to see his/her face?
Or sth?
When one day you realize, hey, why should I go to school?
Theres not much purpose of me going.
Its just pretty much a same normal school day.
Boring.
Do you still go?

(No lah its not that I don’t want to go school, just feel the urge to ask this ques which I asked myself a lot)
Moon cake biscuit shaped like a merlion.
But well, moon cake festival is still ages away.

Baby octopus, out of my digestive system by now.
National Day was such a bore.

Anyway i went to the doc 'cause of my jaw and he said i pulled the jaw muscles.

Makes sense.

Rather believable than my assumption of dislocating my jaw.

Anyway for now, it isnt pain anymore.
But i still cant open my mouth big like a rhino.
AHHHHH
So if it continues, i can just dream of eating those big big sushi where you have to open your mouth wide to put the sushi in.

The books i borrowed are getting thicker and thicker.
Measure up to, i guess 2 inches?
Well, ms bookworm here.
*bows*

Jamming. Some guy crashing the drums.Icy Jolly Lolly.
Preparation.
The Big Event.

Happy birthday S'pore! =)

8th August

ICY JOLLY LOLLY!
Well, we didnt have enought time to set up the stalls before the other students came down.
So we were quite a mess.
Ppl were waiting for us, while the stuffs still havent come.
The first half an hr was such a mess.
Ppl were screaming orders here and there.
Ppl like me.
So i guess i sound like those marketwoman.
Shit.
I made Weilin wait very long for her order.
Pai seh.
The ice pops were not frozen.
Should have put them together in the freezer earlier.
I was pretty scolded quite a few times cause i kept sticking out my hand to point to where the spoon is.
And eventually i spilt an ice cream float.
Told ya im careless.
And im sooo not gonna choose business next time.
Alumni came back.
And some ppl choose to kajiao us that day.
One of them is Sarah.
We sold out every single thing before the hr is up.
So we have time to go look around at other things.

The Big Event was a success.
And we made it to the news today! =)
I met Esther on the way in her "ghost" outfit.
Tired but happy after the FIESTA.

Actually wanna have lunch at TM, then change to Safra, then to century square.
Left me and Estalla by then.
I had jaw ache again.
And it still wont go away til now.
I spent half an hr eating a simple meal of lunch.
Plus with difficulty.

Yesterday night i woke up from a dream of sb.
My feelings are messed up now.
But also bout the thing with...

Busy with FIESTA today.
So yeah i have to admit i tend to not-spend-so-much time with friends and stuffs when my head is occupied.
Geez bad thing.
Okay i just hope tmr's gonna be a fun and happy day.
I dont wanna care so much.

Received shocking news in dance today.
I only came at the last 1 hr of practice.
Watched the guides marching.
Ah no Joyce.
Hope shes okay.
God bless everyone.
Morning started out cheerfully.
Though i was sitting on the bus alone, i felt that inner peacefulness inside me.
Theres music to accompany me.
The sky is blue. =)

Happiness comes to an end at a certain period of time.
The price to pay for getting too happy?
I was caught by ya-know-who for attire.
Okay and he HAD to shout, scream, humiliate me in front of everyone.
And sth got into me, i talked back.
I rather have detention.
Detention sounds fun.
My mood: disbelieve > embarrass > piss off > hurt > confuse > and dont know what shit.
I was the last to get tested.
And yeah hes gonna watch me from today onwards.
Hows that for dessert?

Dickson heard all my "prawn" language come out of my mouth.
All the "siah, siah siah".
I hate speaking singlish, and yeah it came out of my mouth, how ironic?

After that, i still felt my cheeks burning.
Like im being watched by everyone.
But who wanna look at me, man.
They just wanna watch the scene replaying inside me.
And laughed.
Okay maybe at least its better than seeing me in a granny's swimsuit grinning at the camera WITH my teeth.

Craig was still happily rubbing salt into my wound.
*rub rub rub*
But the thing is, i dont produce enough platelets to defend myself.
So it hurts.
Sometimes sth or sb appear in your life that you hate or dislike, but actually they benefit you a lot more than you expected.
So im weak.
I failed to control my emotions once again.
I need more practices.
Til i feel numb.
(But hey there are still times when i wanna enjoy crying my heart out)

But still i wanna say sth bout Craig.
I finally could ans your ques (though you wont be reading this).
You are insensitive.

But thanks Jol today.

Like i say, im giving up on you.
Since i stand no chance.
I dont expect much too.
But it takes time.

Haziq showed me his NCC song.
Damn horny man.
Since they are all guys, they can talk bout girls anyhow they like.
So well my dance could too huh?
Talk bout how guys are?

But there are songs out there in this world openly talking bout sex and girls on bed and so on.
Like FOB's Hum Hallelujah.

Maroon 5's Makes Me Wonder.
"The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry"

"Her fingers running through my hair, but it's all just fiction
She steps out from her underwear, so beautiful!"

"Standing there in your underwear and new pumps
It's like the more time we waste and less time I get to taste you"

"When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
....
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck "
i found cuts around my body - my arms, my knees, my legs.
I dont know how it happen.
They are slits but its not from my penknife or razor.
Weird.

I dont know what to say anymore.
I just hope... everything will be okay for everyone in the end.
We still have a long way to go.
BEING TRUE OR NOT?
TO TRUST OR NOT?
That. Is the question.

Most of the time, some secondary school friends will last a lifetime, til adulthood at least.
So i ask myself, who will be there with me, to continue on the journey to adulthood and so on?
Some, i hope they will be.
Some, i held no hope.
Some, may lose contact for a while, but may meet again in the later part of life. (sounds interesting)
A lot of adults are against teenage relationship.
But in america, high school sweethearts may meet again later on in life, and become true lovers again.
How rare can that be?

Seriously i feel very fucked off if some ppl thinks im cheap.
Disrespect to me and my body.
Okay maybe its just a joke, and you think i wont mind.
But if you really mean it, i have nothing to say.
Just because im quite open to sexual topics doesnt mean that.
Its a free country.
Sarah's new haircut + my clips = Smily face =)

You are the star on top of the christmas tree Lisa!
Ms Lee didnt come so its photo taking session.
Er guess who's dancing in the background? Actually I also dont know.

It was scary.
Full stop.

Like i said, your life can change in just a few days.
Or even one day.
Who knows?

I only did realize today that the D&T tchr isnt Mr Chong.
Just some Chong Chong lookalike.

Went to watch Harry Potter with Blossom and Min Lin.
Your reaction: SLOW!
Ms Zahra was like, HAH! LOUSY!
Okay yeah the movie wasnt touching like Goblet Of Fire.
But its worth it if you wanna watch the following sequeals.
Me and Blossom sneaked and watched some bits of Simpsons in another cinema.
Our reaction: ????
I dont give a damn understand what's so funny.
Okay im not a die-hard Simpsons fan like my couz.
There was the Simpsons version of Green Day.
Billie Joe Armstrong!!!